


Happiness Is the Illusion

by BlainexKurtxLovex



Series: Broken and Betrayed [2]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Brainwashing, Childbirth, Doubt, Drama, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt, Memory Returned, Past Brainwashing, Rescue Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-04 18:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14026080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlainexKurtxLovex/pseuds/BlainexKurtxLovex
Summary: Almost a full year has passed since Zero was captured by Suzaku Kururugi. Princess Lelouchia couldn't be happier about being married to the Knight of Seven and having his child, but Suzaku seems distant lately and Lulu is worried. What happens when the newborn arrives and a green-haired nurse kisses Lulu? Zero's return, obviously! SuzakuxFem!Lelouch





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the first chapter! Enjoy!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

The whole evening had been a blur, but now that she was in a sea of pain it barely registered. The pain had been gradual at first with spaces in between. She had been able to breathe through the shocks without any sort of worry. She drank lots of water and even ate ice chips to help cool down her overheated body. Suzaku was attentive to her needs and took care of her while the pain began to increase.

But now, the pain was immense. It was like she had been shot, stabbed, and burned all at the same time and she could barely contain her agony. Lulu screamed as another shot of pain wracked through her body. Every nerve ending was oversensitive and she felt as if her whole body was being split in half. She could hardly hear the doctors in the room with her, let alone Suzaku. She could only focus on the pain because it seemed the drugs they had pumped into her system were not enough to drown out the torture.

Her black hair was pulled out of her face, but loose strands were sticking to her skin from the amount of sweat she seemed to be producing. Her hands hurt from grasping at the side of the hospital bed and Suzaku’s hand. He winced at the tightness and tried to soothe here with words, but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t hear him. All she could hear were her own screams and the blood pulsing in her ears. She didn’t even care that she was squeezing the life out of Suzaku’s hand. This whole mess was his fault anyway. She would skin him alive if she had to before she went through this amount of pain again.

“Princess, I can see the baby’s head. You need to push, okay?” the bald doctor instructed. Lulu nodded her head vigorously because she was thrilled to be almost done. She felt as if she had been pushing the supposed “bundle of joy” out of her damn womb for _hours_. Hell, it probably had been hours for all Lulu knew at the moment. “Push!”

Lulu put everything she had into the last push. She wanted it to be over so that she could rest. She was exhausted and her body hurt. Suddenly, the pain lessened to a dull throb and the weight she had been carrying for the last nine months was gone.

Suzaku left her for a moment to cut the umbilical cord, but once that was done he was back at her side. He was smiling, but he looked as tired as she felt. His normally tan skin was flushed and he had dark bags under his eyes. His emerald orbs, however, were shining with pride.

Lulu let out a sigh of relief. She had successfully delivered the baby with no complications, but she couldn’t hear the child crying. Wasn’t it supposed to be crying? Internally, Lulu was terrified that the baby hadn’t made it. She was afraid that she had failed Suzaku.

A loud wail filled the room.

Lulu let out the breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding. The baby was alive. She felt Suzaku move a sweaty strand of hair from her forehead and kiss her. She smiled at the gesture and gently squeezed his hand to let him know she was okay and happy. All the ire she had for the man during the delivery had faded. The love of her life now had a son and they could be proper family.

“You did great, Lulu,” he whispered.

“Mr. Kururugi, would you like to hold your daughter?” the nurse asked.

She shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was at the news that she had given birth to a daughter. Lulu and Suzaku had both decided that knowing the gender of their child wasn’t important, but she had hoped for a son. Lulu admitted quietly to herself that she wanted to cry, but she closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. She had given birth to a daughter. She had given Suzaku a daughter, not a son. He had been so excited that there was a possibility of a boy. Suzaku had also expressed the excitement at having a girl as well, but Lulu just assumed he wanted a boy. Every father wanted a son. She hadn’t wanted to disappoint him.

“No,” Suzaku replied, “Lulu should hold her first.”

Lulu opened her eyes and looked up at her husband. He hadn’t sounded mad or upset that he had a daughter. His voice was full of joy and his face stated the same. A rush of relief flowed through her just knowing that he was happy. He smiled down at her again and released her hand. He stood and she recognized that he was going to help her sit up so that she could hold their baby. Lulu moved slowly and carefully so that the dull throb in her body wouldn’t increase. When she was situated the nurse leaned over and handed the newborn to her.

The little human was wrapped up in a pink fleece blanket with a pink hat. She had a bit of brunette hair peeking out from under the hat that looked like it wanted to curl. Lulu chuckled and looked up at Suzaku.

“She is going to have curly hair just like you,” Lulu observed.

Suzaku chuckled, “Yes, that seems to be a Kururugi family trait.”

Lulu smiled and kissed the top of the baby’s head. Her little girl sneezed and opened her eyes just a little, but it was enough to see that she would have eyes just like her mother, a vibrant amethyst.

“She has your eyes, Lulu,” Suzaku stated.

“Jewel tone eyes are a Britannia family trait,” Lulu replied. “She will, hopefully, bridge the gap between the Britannians and the Japanese.”

 “You mean Elevens, Lulu,” Suzaku corrected.

Lulu looked up at him and he spared a glance at the doctors and nurses still present. Lulu followed his gaze to the others and raised an eyebrow at them. They were all giving the Britannian princess a cautionary glance. They all knew that Suzaku was an Eleven, but he was also a Knight of Round, more specifically the Knight of Seven. He had earned his place among the Britannians and the three medical professionals were looking at him like he was the spawn of the Devil himself.

Mixed blood families happened, but were highly uncommon within Pendragon itself. The fact that a once Honorary Britannian Eleven turned Knight had married the Eleventh Princess of the Holy Britannian Empire had shocked the entire world. No one in the royal family had expected Emperor Charles zi Britannia to allow such a disadvantageous match, but he had. The wedding had been announced just days after the capture of Zero, the Black Knights rebel leader, by said Knight Kururugi. Many attributed Zero’s capture as to why the Emperor would allow a lowly Eleven to marry into the royal family.

Lulu was about to order the doctors to clear the room so that she could have a moment with her family, but the doctor approached with a serious look on his face. Lulu held her tongue and waited for what the man would say.

“What is the child’s name to be, milady?” the doctor asked.

Lulu looked up at Suzaku and waited to see if he wanted to name their child anything specific. He shook his head and gave her a reassuring smile. She had divulged to him what she wanted their child’s name to be whether it be a boy or a girl. Lulu looked back down at her daughter and smiled.

“Rhiannon Euphemia Kururugi,” Lulu stated.

“Are you sure you wish to give your child the name of the Murder Princess and your husband’s last name instead of the prestigious last name of the royal family?” the doctor asked shocked.

Suzaku tensed at her sister’s unofficial title. While it was true that Euphemia had seemed to lose all reason and manically killed hundreds of Japanese during the time of the Special Administrative Zone; she had still been a royal. This man had no right to speak of her as he did and especially not in front of Suzaku. Not to mention, he seemed to think that Lulu wanted her daughter to only belong to Britannia. Lulu’s daughter belonged to her and Suzaku. No one else. Lulu took her husband’s hand and then glared at the doctor for making him relive a terrible moment from his past and degrading him.

“My sister Princess Euphemia was a kind and wonderful woman. Something happened that caused her to act the way she did before her untimely death. I always looked up to her and will be blessing my child by giving her my sister’s name,” Lulu stated. “My husband was once her knight and it is to honor the memory of her that I do this. My husband has also spent many years in dedication to the royal family and as he is my husband my daughter will take his last name. You have no right to dissuade me from my choice.”      

The doctor nodded and said nothing as a nurse wrote it down. The whole room knew that one negative word from Princess Lelouchia and they would all lose their jobs. Lulu wasn’t a favorite of the crown, but she was influential enough to cause a stir if she felt in necessary. No one insulted her family without paying a price. She was, after all, her father’s daughter. No one spoke as the nurse checked the spelling of all three names before returning to her spot in the corner.

The doctor cleared his throat again before speaking. “And the godparents of your child?”

“Earl Lloyd Asplund and Cécile Croomy,” Suzaku answered easily.

The doctor looked at Lulu for confirmation and she nodded. She had agreed that the two had done much for Suzaku during his time in the army. They had been parents to him and when the two soon-to-be parents asked Lloyd and Cécile to be their child’s godparents the two had agreed instantly.

“I am only asking as a formality, Princess Lelouchia, but there is no one in your prominent family you would like to make your child’s godparents.”

Lulu was starting to get frustrated with the doctor. She was sure that he would be reporting back to her father as was custom, but it was slightly irritating. It was like she was constantly under surveillance and it aggravated her a great deal. It wasn’t that she had a distaste for her father, but she sometimes found herself disagreeing with his approach to particular matters. He would ask for her opinion and then pretend like she had never even spoke. So that was why Lulu never said anything unless asked, but this was one thing she would not budge on.

If things had gone differently, Clovis and Euphemia would have been her daughter’s godparents. Suzaku had even agreed that the two royals would have been perfect for the role. However, seeing as they had both been murdered by Zero there was no one else Lulu trusted with her child’s welfare. She didn’t want her daughter to be used as a political tool like she had been as a child. Although, she had to admit that being sent to Japan had had its perks because that was where she had met Suzaku. Lulu turned her attention back to the matter at hand.

“No, there is not,” she answered coldly.

The doctor nodded again, the nurse wrote them down, checked the spelling, and then everyone except the parents and newborn were left alone with the child. Lulu let out a sigh and squeezed Suzaku’s hand so that he would look at her.

“I don’t care about what everyone is going to think. We made these decisions as a couple. I will stand by them till the end because I love you.”

Suzaku leaned down and captured her lips. The kiss was chaste, sweet, and filled with so much love that Lulu almost melted. Almost, because Rhiannon decided that was the moment to cry and demand to be fed. Suzaku pulled away and they both chuckled.

“Nothing is going to be the same, Lulu,” Suzaku commented as Lulu undid her hospital gown and brought the baby close to her breast. “She is going to make everything so different.”

Rhiannon started to suck and Lulu turned her focus to Suzaku. “She is going to make everything better than it was before. She is our miracle.”

They sat in relative silence as Rhiannon ate and Lulu couldn’t stop staring at their perfect little angel. She felt happier than she had in the last few months. She had been so distant towards Suzaku, but he had stuck by her and comforted her when she needed it. Especially, when she was extremely emotional no matter the situation.

“I love you, Lulu,” Suzaku declared breaking the silence. Lulu took her eyes from Rhiannon and focused back on Suzaku. “I never want you to doubt that.”

“Suzaku, I have no reason to doubt your love for me. You defied the odds in order to marry me, did you not?” Lulu pointed out. Suzaku said nothing so she continued. “You captured Zero as proof of your love for me. You single-handedly saved the world from a maniac. You are my hero.”

The happiness in Suzaku’s eyes seemed to fade as she spoke. This occurred a lot when he looked at her. She couldn’t figure out why, but she knew that every time Zero was brought up in conversation he seemed to look at her as if the rebel leaders very name would cause her to hate him.

Before she could ask him what was wrong there was a small knock at the door. Suzaku gave her a tight smile and a small blanket to cover her nude breast before getting up to answer the door. He opened the door, but blocked Lulu’s view so that she wouldn’t see who it was that came to visit them. After a moment of speaking with said visitor Suzaku stepped aside and Lulu meet light rose eyes.

Lulu smiled as she waved the visitor in. Suzaku stepped aside as the younger male stepped into the room. His light brunette hair was a little messy like he had been running his hands through it constantly in worry. His eyes were shining with happiness, but his usually pale skin was just a smidgeon paler. He walked to her side and rested a hand on her thigh.

“I’m okay, Rolo. Everything went perfectly,” Lulu reassured. She knew how worried her younger brother had been when he had watched her wheeled into the delivery room. Suzaku had forbade him from being present and Lulu knew Rolo had been hurt by her husband’s words. “You look awful though.”

Rolo chuckled quietly. “I was worried for you, big sister. I was worried for the baby. No one would give me much information on what was going on.”

Lulu nodded in understanding. Suzaku had already told her that he had kept her brother sated with as little information as possible. Rolo had always had a weak disposition when it came to medical things and life or death situations. Suzaku had done it to keep him from getting ill because Lulu wouldn’t have been able to give birth and worry about her sick sibling.

“Well, as you can see, Rolo, I am just fine. Rhiannon is healthy and eating at the moment, but when she finishes you can hold her if you like,” Lulu stated.

Rolo flushed and waved his hands in front of his face. “I couldn’t, big sister. I don’t…”

“Would it help if Suzaku held her first?” Lulu questioned. A thought struck her then. “Come to think of it. Suzaku hasn’t gotten to hold her yet.”

“Let Suzaku hold her, sister. He is her father after all,” Rolo stated.

Lulu nodded and the room fell silent as Rhiannon fed. It was several long moments before Rhiannon finished. The infant yawned and closed her eyes. Lulu redid her gown and removed the blanket before looking at Suzaku.

Emerald met violet and Lulu handed Rhiannon over to her husband. He took her gently and held her close while supporting her head. Lulu smiled at the perfect picture. She had always know that Suzaku would be a great father. It was in this moment that Lulu was the happiest she had ever been.

“She’s so tiny,” Suzaku breathed.

Lulu nodded, “She will grow quickly and if she is anything like you, Suzaku, she will be a handful.”

Suzaku chuckled in reply. Lulu smiled before looking at her brother. She noticed that he looked upset. He was looking at Suzaku and the baby as if they had killed someone. Lulu didn’t understand it, but she knew that he might feel displaced by the new arrival. He had been Lulu’s whole world for as long as they could both remember and Rhiannon would now take Lulu’s attention away from him.

“You are an uncle now, Rolo. She will be looking up to you as she grows,” Lulu stated. Rolo looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “I want you to watch over her and protect her, okay?”

Rolo looked to Suzaku holding the baby and then back to her. He nodded and Lulu beckoned him closer. Rolo moved forward and she took his hand in hers. Lulu then looked at Suzaku and he understood that she wanted him closer as well. He sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled at her.

Lulu touched his arm and she felt an overwhelming feeling of joy. She was happy and content with what she had. There was nothing in the world that could compare to having her family around her.

“You three are the most important things in my life. You are my family and nothing makes me happier than knowing that I have you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone that posted a comment or left a Kudos. They literally make my day so much better because I know someone is actually reading these stories. It also lets me know that my efforts at storytelling are not a waste. To those of you who seemed to miss me (lol) I’m back and have other stories in the works for Suzaku and Lelouch.   
> Enjoy the new chapter, lovelies!  
> *I realized that I didn’t put a disclaimer in the last chapter so…  
> ~I do not own Code Geass or any of its elements or characters, etc. They belong to their original owners~   
> On with the story!!!!!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

Lulu and Rhiannon spent several more days in the hospital. Every day visitors arrived to see the newborn and Lulu’s nerves were becoming a bit frayed. If it wasn’t someone from the Knights of Round it was someone from the royal family and when it wasn’t someone from the royal family, it was a nurse or doctor. Suzaku kept telling her that it would only last for a little while longer, considering she was to be discharged the next day, and then when they got home everything would quiet down. Lulu kindly reminded him that the baby would be up at odd hours keeping them both up. Suzaku claimed they could handle it. She hoped he was right.

Lulu didn’t blame her child for the amount of attention she was garnering from the Knights of Round, her godparents, and a large percentage of the royal family. She was the first born royal in a long while and it was a happy day for the empire that another princess had been born. It would have been a happier occasion had Rhiannon been a boy, but it was still an occasion to celebrate. And sure, Rhiannon wasn’t a pureblood due to her father being Japanese, but it was still auspicious. Lulu’s brothers and sisters thought Rhiannon was the cutest baby and there were many gifts piling up around the room for the child.

Lloyd kept going on about how his new goddaughter would be a Knightmare pilot prodigy. Suzaku was a great pilot and feared on the battlefield. Many of Britannia’s enemies worried about their safety when the Lancelot appeared on the scene. It had been Suzaku’s dedication as an Honorary Britannian that had given him a chance to pilot the Lancelot, the White Knight of all Knightmare Frames.

Then there was the princess herself. Lulu had her father’s brains and great military strategy. She could see every move the other side would or could make before the other side decided on their course of action and would have a plan to counteract each and every one. Lulu saw a battle as a chess game and she placed her pieces strategically while planning five steps ahead. Even while on bed rest, Princess Lelouchia was an intimidating figure to behold.

Lloyd had never seen a better team. Lulu was the brains and Suzaku was the brawn. Suzaku would take Lulu’s orders without question because he trusted her. He trusted her to make the correct moves without issue and he was willing to put his life on the line for his country and his princess. This was because Suzaku wasn’t just Lulu’s husband, but her Knight as well and together they could be deadly.

“I’ve already begun drawing up the blueprints for a toddler-sized Knightmare Frame!” Lloyd, the lavender-haired bespectacled man, shared excitedly.

Cécile, the violet-haired woman, smacked him upside the head and apologized for her boss’s enthusiasm. Suzaku just laughed and thought it was a great idea. Lulu had then, in turn, smacked his arm in retaliation.

“Rhiannon will not be flying a death machine anytime soon, Suzaku,” Lulu asserted.

“But you let me fly one,” Suzaku accused. His tone was light and there was a hint of laughter in it.

“Yes,” Lulu answered truthfully. “But then, I knew you’d be relatively safe with my perfect strategies.”

Everyone in the room chuckled. It was true that the princess had gotten Suzaku out of some relatively dangerous situations in the past. No one, not even Suzaku, could deny that.

“Whatever you say, Lulu,” Suzaku conceded. Lulu smiled up at him and winked.

“So, are you ready to go home, Princess?” Cécile asked.

Lulu turned her attention to Cécile and smiled warmly at the woman. “Yes, I am. I loathe hospitals and, please, do call me Lulu, Cécile. You are my child’s godmother.”

Cécile blushed and smiled. “Yes, of course…Lulu.”

Lulu shot a glance at Suzaku to see he was smiling. They had both known it would take a lot of time for both Lloyd and Cécile to get over Lulu’s status. It had been so ingrained in their minds that they were separate, in a way, from her. Lloyd was the exception in some regards. He called everyone by their title, but he wasn’t afraid to be sarcastic and even rude at times. He was in a word, blunt. Cécile, on the other hand, respected the royal family to a point and felt they were owed the respect of their titles.

“I’m actually more worried about getting all these gifts back to our small rooms back at the palace,” Lulu admitted.

“His Majesty has already moved our quarters to bigger rooms,” Suzaku answered. Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. “It was his gift to Rhiannon.”

Lulu nodded and smiled. Inside she was more than a little upset. Her father hadn’t even made time to visit her or his granddaughter at all over the last several days. Suzaku said it was because he was busy and hadn’t had any extra time, but Lulu knew better. It was because Rhiannon was only half Britannian. Emperor Charles cared more about blood-purity than he was willing to admit and Lulu knew better than anyone how her father felt about anyone who wasn’t a true Britannian. To her father, those who weren’t full-blooded Britannian were seen as a nuisance and a threat to his reign.

It wasn’t long before Lloyd and Cécile excused themselves. They had some work to do on new attachments for the Lancelot and they wanted to make sure they were ready before Suzaku needed them in the field. Lloyd shook Suzaku’s hand and Cécile gave him a bone-crushing hug. Then the two looked at Lulu cautiously and seemed to be thinking about how to approach her. Lulu just rolled her eyes and beckoned them forward. Once they were close enough she had them bend down so that she could hug them both. They stiffened in shock for a moment before they relaxed and hugged her back gently.

“Thank you,” Lulu whispered. They both nodded, pulled away, and waved goodbye.

Suzaku and Lulu sat in silence for a little while longer before Suzaku came and sat next to her on the bed. He took her face in his hands and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Lulu smiled as he pulled away, but the look she found in his eyes was anything but happy.

“Suzaku, what’s wrong?” she inquired.

Suzaku took a deep breath and then it out on a long sigh. “I’m being sent on an assignment for the next couple of days.”

Lulu’s eyes widened in confusion. They had discussed him having a small amount of parental leave to help with Rhiannon. Suzaku had agreed. He had already been given the appropriate documents to his superiors, but now he was leaving on an assignment.

“What?”

“Gino specifically requested me. He said he wouldn’t take the assignment without me by his side,” Suzaku explained. “I reminded him that I was supposed to be here with you because of the baby, but he didn’t seem to care much. This mission is important, Lulu. I wouldn’t leave you and Rhiannon if it wasn’t.”

“And Gino thinks that without me, you’ll both succeed?” Lulu pressed.

It irritated Lulu that everyone seemed to forget that they were a team. Suzaku and Lulu were a cohesive unit both at home and on the battlefield. Suzaku, of course, would be fine on his own, but not every commander was willing to keep him safe. They would sacrifice him before a true Britannian and that was why Lulu spent so much time in the command center when Suzaku was a key player.

Lulu didn’t want him out there without her. She was his safety net both at court and on the battlefield. He was her bodyguard when they traveled in public and in their own home.They protected each other. They were two sides of the same coin.

“I think,” Suzaku started, “he knows you need time to rest and spend time with our daughter. He doesn’t think that I might want that too. He has this notion that men aren’t meant for the home the same way women are.”

“That is ridiculous. Women don’t _have_ to stay home. I am proof of that,” Lulu spat. “Not only that, but you aren’t as battle-hardened as he is, Suzaku. You have always had a good heart that puts others first before yourself. He could care less about whether you live or die.”

“I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t care, Lulu. He came and spent time with Rhiannon and he said he was glad I was a father. He wants me to come home and be with my family, but I also believe he thinks I need time away before the true crazy starts. That aside, however, that doesn’t make this mission any less important.”

Lulu let out a huff of annoyance. Her pride was coming in to play know. She hated that everyone thought she was just a mere woman and one who should just stay at home with the children and cook all day. She had more military tact that most of the highest ranked officers in the Empirical Army. Lelouchia vi Britannia was more than a mere woman. She was a Britannian princess. Lulu decided to play dirty even if she was going to regret it later.

“More important than your wife and newborn child?”

Suzaku’s eyes narrowed. “You and Rhiannon will always be the center of my whole world, Lulu. Don’t you dare doubt that.”

“Yet, you would willingly dive into danger without me by your side. You are taking liberties with your own life, Suzaku.”

“What are you talking about? I’m always careful…”

“You are careful because I order you to be. When you are without my guidance you are reckless and seem determined to get yourself killed,” Lulu affirmed. Suzaku looked at her shocked. “Your life is no longer just your own, Suzaku. You have a wife and a child now. You said it yourself. Everything has changed and here you are about to do something foolish.”

“You think I would leave you willingly?” Suzaku asked. Lulu didn’t answer. So, Suzaku continued, “Lulu, I think about what could happen to you every day without me by your side. You could be taken from me at any moment and I hate that I have to leave you and our daughter.”

“Then don’t go!” Lulu proclaimed. “Stay!”

Suzaku sighed. “I’m not only your Knight, Lulu. I’m a Knight of Round. I belong to the empire as much as I belong to you. I can’t just skimp on my other duties simply because you want me to.”

“You just said your family was the center of the world and here you are abandoning it!” Lulu shouted.

Lulu knew it wasn’t true. Lulu knew she was being selfish, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want him going out there without her. What if something happened and he never came back? Lulu didn’t think she could handle living without him.

“Lulu, that is enough,” Suzaku chastised. Lulu just stared at him hard. “You are being unreasonable and childish.”

“So, it’s childish of me to want you safe? It’s juvenile of me to want you where I can protect you from yourself?” she pressed. “I’m sorry for being such a _child_ for caring about your safety.”

Something seemed to register in her husband’s forest green eyes. They hardened as he seemed to come to his own conclusion. It was that look that signaled to Lulu that she had pushed too far, but she couldn’t stop now. Her pride wouldn’t let her.

“You don’t think I can do it?” Lulu nodded in confirmation. “I did just fine without you before we were married, Lulu. I can handle this mission without you guiding my every move.”

“Then go! Go and get yourself killed all because fucking Lord Gino Weinburg asked you to!” Lulu yelled.

“Language, Lulu.”

Lulu didn’t speak. She was furious with him. He was going to do something stupid and get himself killed leaving her alone without him. Lulu silently cursed Lord Gino Weinburg, the Knight of Three, for being so selfish considering he was probably the most annoying noble and Knight of Round she had ever met. Gino seemed to think that he and Suzaku were the best of friends, but Lulu could see that Gino got on her husband’s nerves often.

Suzaku stood up abruptly and turned on his heel. He made his way to the door and Lulu didn’t stop him. She was irate that he was willing to put his life on the line while she waited at home worrying if he would come back alive. Lulu crossed her arms and turned her face away from the exit. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

Then, as he reached the door, Suzaku stopped. He looked over his shoulder at her. Lulu only saw the movement out of her peripherals, but she thought she saw pain in his emerald eyes.

“I’ll come back, Lulu. I have more to live for now than I did a year ago,” Suzaku stated.

He waited for her to respond, but Lulu kept her mouth shut. She couldn’t make her mouth move to form the words she wanted to say back. It was so hard to watch him walk away without her by his side. Her heart was breaking. When Suzaku concluded that she wasn’t going to say anything he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway before stopping again.

“I love you, Lulu.”

The words hung in the air for a moment before Suzaku closed the door and left. The tears escaped from her eyes and her body shook. The last thing she had wanted was to fight with him. She never wanted him to hate her or think less of her. But, sometimes, it seemed like a dormant part of her made Lulu do and say rash things towards him. He never complained or retaliated, but the look he would give her. The look of pain and sadness killed her more than any hurtful words from him could simply because she _knew_ he loved her. She saw it every day and yet she had moments were she was selfish and crass. Lulu hated that side of her for the simple matter that it _hurt_ Suzaku deeper than any wound.

After a few more minutes of wallowing in the mess she had made Lulu realized she couldn’t take the guilt. She lunged for her phone on the table next her bed and quickly dialed Suzaku’s number. She waited for him to pick up while silently hoping the phone went to voicemail. It seemed that her pride didn’t want her to apologize while another part of her pleaded with her to do something to fix the rift between her and Suzaku. When it came to Suzaku, Lulu’s pride seemed to thrash against the box she had tucked it away in. She didn’t know why, but it was like her pride wanted to escape completely and take over. It was fights like this one that led to it seeping out in spurts and it killed a part of her, but she needed Suzaku’s approval more than she needed to breath. So she locked it away again and waited.

“Yes, Lulu?” Suzaku asked. His voice was calm. There was no hint of anger in his tone. Lulu knew, though, that he was waiting for her to apologize. He had expected her too, because she always did.

Lulu took a deep breath in hopes that her voice wouldn’t break when she spoke. “I’m sorry, Suzaku.” Suzaku didn’t speak. He just waited for her to finish. “I don’t doubt your abilities as a pilot. I just…don’t trust the others around you to…to…keep you safe. We both know that they would dispose of you at any opportunity.”

“I can handle them, Lulu,” Suzaku stated.

“I…I know that. Deep down, I do. But, Suzaku,” Lulu started, “they wouldn’t even dare think of harming you when I’m around. Without me there, watching out for you, you’re a sitting duck…”

“Lulu,” Suzaku interrupted. Lulu stopped speaking and waited. “I will be fine. Trust me.”

“Suzaku, this isn’t about whether or not I trust _you_. It’s the fact that I don’t trust _them._ You, I trust with my life, otherwise I never would have taken you as my knight or my husband.”

Suzaku was silent. Lulu couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking about. This was just another one of those moments where he seemed to lose himself. If he was standing in the room with her Suzaku’s shoulders would be a little tenser. He wouldn’t meet her eyes and his hands would be clenched in a fist.

“So, Knight Suzaku Kururugi,” Lulu began. She mustered up her most authoritative voice, “You better come back. There will be no evidence of the fight. No bruises or scratches. If there is an indication that you have been harmed I will have Weinburg’s head on a silver platter.”

“Is that all, Your Highness?” Suzaku inquired after a moment.

“No, it isn’t. I order you to live, Suzaku.”

She heard Suzaku’s breath catch at her command. She waited for him to find his voice. It was never like him to delay his response to a direct order from his princess, but he seemed to be struggling this time. It seemed to Lulu that this order to live was harder than he was willing to acknowledge, but she wasn’t going to force him to comply either. She may have been his princess, but he was her husband and that mattered more to her.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Suzaku finally answered.

Lulu smiled. “And Suzaku…I love you.”

Before Suzaku could answer Lulu hung up. She felt the vice-like guilt around her heart disappear and she let out a long breath. Lulu had fixed what she had broken and now she could focus on getting discharged from the hospital. She could take Rhiannon home and hope she was a good mother.

There was a small knock on the door and Lulu called for the nurse to come in. She knew it was about time to feed Rhiannon and she could hear the baby from outside the door fussing. Lulu smiled at the thought of holding her and Suzaku’s child. It warmed her heart to know that they brought the beautiful girl into the world. As the door opened, Lulu sat up straighter as the nurse came in rolling the hospital crib in front of her.

Lulu didn’t recognize the nurse, however. Her long lime-green hair was pulled into a ponytail and her bangs fell into her golden eyes. She was thin, but her breasts were large and seemed to strain against the nurse uniform. She was wearing high-heeled boots instead of the normal white sneakers that were easier to run in. She didn’t look like a typical nurse someone would find at a hospital in Pendragon.

Lulu was immediately on guard. If this woman was an assassin, Lulu knew she couldn’t take her on. She had no self-defense training and Suzaku was headed off on a mission. The whole situation screamed convenience. Maybe the mission Suzaku was given was a fake one to get him away and get Lulu into a situation where she was vulnerable.

The nurse wheeled the crib next to the bed and met Lulu’s violet eyes. Lulu only took her eyes off the woman for a second to make sure her child was alright before she met the golden gaze again.

“Who are you?” Lulu demanded. The woman didn’t answer. She just stared at Lulu as if waiting for a particular reaction. “I will only ask one more time before calling my knight back. Who are you?”

“He won’t make it in time, Lelouchia,” the girl answered. Her voice was apathetic. There was no emotion only the truth. This woman knew that Suzaku wouldn’t make it back in time if she wanted to kill Lulu. “Besides, you already know me.”

Lulu’s eyes widened in shock. She knew for certain that she didn’t recognize this woman. Lulu had never seen her…she hadn’t…she knew she hadn’t, but…it could be possible. There was something deep down inside her that told Lulu that she did indeed know the green-haired woman.

“Who are you?” she asked on a whisper.

“C.C.,” the woman answered.

Lulu shook her head. The name didn’t register in her memories. Lulu didn’t know this woman and had no recollection of her. Regardless of how her mind screamed at her that this woman was important.

“I think you have the wrong person,” Lulu tried.

C.C. shook her head. “I have the right person. You just don’t remember me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“But you do…Zero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go everyone! That is a wrap for this chapter! 
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, lovelies!! Here is Chapter Three!! Two chapters in one day! Just for you guys!  
> Thanks for the comments and kudos as well!!  
> Enjoy the chapter!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

Lulu froze at the name of the person, the traitor, who had wanted to destroy Britannia. The one person who had tried to destroy everything her father had built. Zero who had been a monster and Zero who was dead. She couldn’t comprehend the words coming out of C.C.’s mouth because they couldn’t be true. Lulu wasn’t…she couldn’t be…there was no way she was…no….

“What...what did you say?” Lulu stuttered out.

“You heard me,” C.C. replied.

The room was darkening as Lulu’s eyes became clouded. It was as if the room was only at half of its normal brightness and the contrast was up. C.C. was too bright compared to the rest of the room and she was tilted as if the entire room had shifted. Lulu couldn’t focus on Rhiannon who had now started crying louder nor could she concentrate on the fact that C.C. was walking towards her. None of it made sense. Lulu had always been a loyal member of the royal family. She never would have done any of the things Zero had done.

“Zero…Zero is dead,” Lulu exclaimed. “I watched the execution myself.”

C.C. stopped and raised an eyebrow at her. “What you watched was a lie. The Emperor and his people staged the whole thing. Unfortunately, the man wearing a copy of your suit was not an actor. He was actually a convicted murderer.”

“No! That man was Zero! Suzaku confirmed it. He never would have…”

“But he did, Lulu. He plays a bigger part in your imprisonment here than anyone,” C.C. interrupted.

“Suzaku loves me,” Lulu hissed.

She knew he loved her. Suzaku told her he did every day. He showed it in the way he held her as she slept. He displayed it when he followed her orders in battle because he trusted her judgment. Suzaku was her loving husband and they had made a great life for themselves. This woman was just trying to ruin the trust Lulu had for Suzaku because it would be easier to manipulate her.

“You are a prisoner of your own mind and Suzaku Kururugi is your warden.”

“You lie!”

Lulu was losing her composure quickly. If she had been on a battlefield she would have been able to make moves and come up with plans, but in this situation as she was everything was different. Suzaku wasn’t by her side and she had a newborn to think of while trying to convince herself that what C.C. said wasn’t true.

“I never lie,” C.C. stated, “at least not to you and not when it is as important to your return.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I am not Zero!”

She couldn’t be, right?

Lulu knew she never would have endangered so many people or killed any of the royal family the way Zero had done. She didn’t have it in her…did she? No, no…she didn’t. Zero had killed Clovis and Euphemia. Lulu never would have murdered them. She had loved them both dearly and they had been the few siblings who cared for her and her brother.

But, Cornelia was still missing…was she dead? She was last seen fighting Zero…she might know who the rebel leader was…but she wouldn’t accuse Lulu. There was no way she would…

Lulu was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost missed C.C.’s next words. Words that made Lulu’s heart clench in pain, or was it anticipation, at the mere thought.

“It is time for you to return, Zero.”

Lulu refocused her gaze on C.C. as she approached. She jerked back and shoved C.C. away from her. C.C. didn’t seem surprised as she looked at Lulu blankly. Lulu took that moment to throw the blankets off and get out of bed stumbling backwards as she realized she hadn’t really been breathing. Panting and gasping, maybe, but not actually breathing. Lulu plastered herself against the wall and gulped in precious air.

“We don’t have much time.”

“I don’t care,” Lulu snapped. “I am not who you think I am and I will be going nowhere with you.”

“And yet,” C.C. started, “you haven’t called for any guards. You are curious about my words, Lulu. I can see it in your eyes.”

Lulu shook her head in denial. There was no way she was interested in what this odd woman had to say. She was crazy and Lulu had a daughter and a husband to think about. She couldn’t be even the tiniest bit curious about whether or not C.C.’s words were true. But…

“It wouldn’t matter if you called the guards anyway. My men are the ones outside. Well, more specifically Zero’s men, but since you have no memory of past events they are following my orders. It was quite difficult getting them in, of course. The Black Knights are resourceful, however, and we infiltrated the hospital for approximately three months before making our move,” C.C. explained casually as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Lulu chose to ignore the comment about having no memory and her eyes widened at that bit of information that the men outside were Zero’s men. C.C. was insinuating that the men outside would follow her because she was Zero, but Lulu wasn’t. There was no way she was Zero. So that meant that they wouldn’t listen to her because she _wasn’t_ a murdering traitor. Lulu concluded that there was no way for her to get out of the room with her daughter in tow. They were trapped in here with this crazy woman. It was in that moment that Lulu realized how far away from Rhiannon she was and tears started to fill her eyes.

“Do what you want with me, but leave the child. She’s innocent,” Lulu pleaded.

C.C.’s eyes widened a bit at her request. “They seemed to have changed much about you since we last spoke. Just so you know, begging does not suit you, Lulu. Besides, this child is not as innocent as you seem to think. If you knew the truth you would agree with me.”

“She’s an infant! Of course, she’s innocent. She did nothing wrong but be born!”

“But that’s it, isn’t it. Her transgression is her very life. The fact that she was born, Lulu, is why you are as tied to this artificial life as you are. Her birth solidified your current predicament. It is through her that you are the way you are now.”

“No, you’re wrong!”

C.C. looked to the child, but her face never changed. She still had this blank stare as she looked upon the baby. Lulu couldn’t get a clear understanding on C.C’s expression and hoped that she wouldn’t harm Rhiannon. C.C. walked over, leaned across the side of the crib, picked the child up and cradled her in her arms.

“What are you doing?” Lulu demanded.

“You and Suzaku had a beautiful girl. It is too bad that after today you, as her mother, will revile her,” C.C. stated.

Lulu’s eyes widened as she moved away from the wall to stand at her side of the bed. C.C.’s words were slithering their way into Lulu’s heart and her brain was starting to hurt. If what C.C. said was true than her heart and mind seemed to be at odds because of it.

“I would never…”

“But you will, Lulu. This child was never supposed to be born. She is but another tool to keep you from your true destiny and from fulfilling my deepest wish,” C.C. cut her off as she rocked Rhiannon back and forth. Rhiannon calmed as C.C. moved and Lulu watched in a mixture of fear and awe. C.C. met Lulu’s gaze and gave a small half smile. “Or maybe you will use her as a pawn just as you have done with so many others. It will be interesting to see how it turns out.”

Lulu didn’t respond as C.C. came around the bed rocking Rhiannon. She held out the baby and Lulu took her gently. She looked into her daughter’s eyes and smiled as Rhiannon cocked her head as if in confusion. Lulu vowed then that she would do whatever it took to keep her child safe. Even if it meant taking on this crazy woman and the men outside. Lulu backed away slowly from C.C. until she reached the medium bay window before she met C.C.’s blank stare with one of her own.

Suddenly, loud screams and grunts came from outside the room. C.C. cursed under her breath and moved forward while Lulu was distracted by the noise. She grabbed the front of Lulu’s hospital gown and crashed her lips to hers.

Lulu’s eyes widened in shock as she tried to keep a firm grip on Rhiannon while trying to push C.C. away. C.C. only pulled her closer while ignoring Lulu’s struggle. She laced her free hand in Lulu’s hair and effectively held her unwilling captive still.

Lulu began to feel something deep inside her mind awakening. Nerve endings were rearranging and visions of people with a red symbols on their foreheads appeared for a moment before they disappeared. Her eyes flew open when fleeting visions of Zero flashed across her mind. Shinjuku Ghetto, the assassination of Prince Clovis, saving Suzaku from being executed, the murder of Euphemia, and many others scenes played across her mind’s eye like her own personal gruesome horror movie.

_“You have the power to save yourself, Lulu. You have the power of…”_ C.C. voice whispered in her mind.

Almost as quickly as the vision’s started they stopped and there was a loud ringing in Lulu’s ears. C.C. slumped to the ground and Lulu followed the woman’s abrupt movement to realize she had been shot in the temple. It took a moment for Lulu to realize that she was covered in the woman’s blood and Rhiannon was screeching.

What had Lulu just seen? Had she, Lelouchia vi Britannia, really done all of those things? Had she truly assassinated her beloved brother and sister? What was the meaning of the visions C.C. had shown her? Who was she, really?

In the farthest recesses of her mind a name was screaming at her, but she couldn’t distinguish it from the noise in her mind. The name was there. It was silent and deadly all at the same time. It held respect and fear, but Lulu couldn’t grasp it. Nothing made sense anymore and Lulu felt as if she was wading in the ocean and her life preserver was losing air. She was starting to drown in her own mind.

Lulu sank to her knees slowly without even realizing or caring that she was kneeling in C.C.’s blood because Lulu’s eyes had turned to find Suzaku standing in the doorway. Her husband was breathing hard with Gino next to him. His jade eyes were narrowed in anger, concentration, and recognition that was solely focused on C.C. He held a gun and was speaking so quickly into his earpiece that Lulu couldn’t understand him. His voice as muffled in her mind as she stared at him almost vacantly.

She could feel her terror raging in her mind, but she couldn’t seem to find it in her to communicate it to her husband through her eyes like she usually did. It was like a mask had fallen over her face and the chances of it rising again so Suzaku could truly see her was slim. She was shutting down and closing herself off from him. Lulu didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

He had said he had a mission. How had he gotten here without knowing she was in danger? Was she under surveillance? Was what C.C. said true, that she was a willing prisoner? If she was being watched then that would explain how they had figured out that she was in danger. So had this been the plan all along? Had she been the bait to lure C.C. out and into the open?

Lulu couldn’t think about it anymore. She turned her gaze to C.C. on the tile floor and silently asked what the woman had done to her. Lulu’s head hurt, Rhiannon was shattering her eardrums like a banshee, and Suzaku was trying to speak to her. He was trying to tell her to move away from the intruder. Lulu couldn’t understand him because she was focused on trying not to vomit.

Lulu once again focused her gaze on Suzaku who had given up talking to her for the moment and instead heard him giving orders to detain C.C. as if she was dangerous. Lulu didn’t understand because C.C. was clearly dead. She laid unmoving on the floor next to Lulu due to the fact that Suzaku had shot her in the head. There was no way that C.C. could have survived a bullet to the brain. But, Gino jumped into action only for him to be stopped when a loud crashing sound came from behind Lulu.

Lulu looked behind her to see a large red and orange Knightmare Frame that had smashed through the hospital wall. Lulu bent over Rhiannon to protect her from the smoke and debris when a hand on her shoulder made her look up into golden eyes.

“I will be back, Lulu. Until then try to remember that you are not who they want you to be. You are much more than their pawn. You are the Black King,” C.C. said with a small smile.

“C.C. we need to go, damnit!” a female voice yelled.

Lulu recognized the voice though. She had heard it before at Ashford Academy and in Shinjuku Ghetto. Lulu looked over her shoulder to see the pilot. Short red hair and bright blue eyes stared back at her. Something clicked in her mind about the importance of this pilot.

_“She is your true knight,”_ a quiet voice murmured.

“Kallen…” Lulu whispered.

“Let’s go, C.C. and grab Zero!” Kallen yelled in response.

“She won’t be coming with us, Kallen,” C.C. replied. “But, we will return for her.”

“Lulu!” Suzaku screamed. As he broke through the smoke with his gun raised. He pointed it back at C.C., sent Kallen a quick glance, before focusing again on C.C. “Take your hands off my wife!”

C.C. gave another small smile before she left Lulu’s side and made her way towards Kallen. The redhead seemed to growl at Suzaku as if he was the Devil himself, but she didn’t flinch at the presence of the gun. Kallen gave a curt nod in response to C.C.’s previous comment before meeting Lulu’s gaze.

“We will be back for you,” Kallen declared.

Kallen reached out a clawed hand for C.C. and the green-haired woman stepped on and held on as Kallen pulled the Knightmare out of the wall and away from the building. Lulu started to get up in a subconscious effort to go after them.

She knew, deep down, that she needed to go with them, but another part of her was keeping her rooted to the spot. The part that loved Suzaku, she concluded, was keeping her from following after them because Suzaku made his way over to stand next to her with his gun still raised.

_“She’s not dead and she said that she would be back,”_ a voice very similar to Lulu’s own whispered in her mind. _“They will both be back for us.”_

Lulu’s eyes widened at the voice. She had heard it a moment ago, but Lulu had thought it was just an independent thought. The voice was close to her own, but had a bit of hatred and bitterness. It was soothing…familiar.

_“Who…who are you?”_ Lulu muttered back internally. 

The voice chuckled, _“I am **you**. I am you from the previous year. We are **Zero** and soon enough we will return to the Black Knights.”_

Lulu felt tears start to fill her eyes. C.C. had been telling the truth. She _was_ Zero. She _had_ killed and caused the deaths of hundreds of people. Lulu was both disgusted and please with herself, however. She had been so close to getting what she had wanted. She had almost…

_“Do not cry,”_ her inner voice cooed. _“We have played our role well, but it is time to put an end to this pitiful illusion of happiness. It is pathetic and not what needs to be done to get Nunnally back.”_

Flashes of a young girl with long light brown hair, dressed in a pink middle school uniform, and in a wheelchair raced across her mind. Lulu felt the tears coming again. She had a sister…she had a younger sister who was disabled. That meant that Rolo wasn’t her brother. He was an imposter who had taken her sister’s place. 

_“Yes, Rolo was nothing more than an informant it would seem.”_

But, Rolo _was_ her brother because Lulu remembered him being born. She recalled holding him as a child and playing in the palace gardens. She remembered teaching him how to cook and tucking him in at night. Lulu had a _brother_ …

_“No, we do not,”_ her inner voice hissed. _“We have a sister named Nunnally. A sister we became Zero for so that we could make the world a better place for her.”_

Lulu couldn’t understand it all, but understood all too well. But, it seemed her mind was warring with itself and Lulu was struggling to figure out her true reality. Was she really Rolo’s big sister? Was she really Zero? Was she really Suzaku’s wife?

Lulu had no idea who she was anymore. But one thing was certain…she had been used. She had been used and manipulated. Her prior life had been erased and replaced.

_“Yes, it would seem that way. We were used, but this is just a part of what we know. If C.C. had finished restoring our memories we wouldn’t be fighting in our mind like this. We would be as one. Damn witch!”_

“Lulu!”

Lulu met Suzaku’s worried gaze and felt more of her memories push forward. She started to see flashes of Kamine Island and how he had pointed a gun at her and her at him. In another flash, she saw them in her hospital room entangled in each other. In the last, Lulu saw him holding her while her father cast his Geass. Tears began is spill from her eyes and down her face.

Suzaku had betrayed her.

Suzaku tried to hush both her and Rhiannon at the same time as they cried. Rhiannon cried because she had been scared by the gunshot and because she was hungry. For Lulu, the tears were due to what her own mind was telling her. Lulu, on instinct, pulled Rhiannon closer to her breast and Suzaku had to urge her to let go of the child. It took several minutes until Lulu relinquished the child to a nurse and Suzaku wrapped her in his arms.

“I’ve got you, Lulu. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” Suzaku soothed as he pulled her into his lap and rocked her back and forth. “It’s over.”

Suzaku was an idiot if he thought Lulu was crying because of the ordeal she had just been through. No, she was crying because the man she had loved and cherished long before becoming Zero had helped in taking her life from her. The same man she had been forced to love and marry had, as C.C. had said, been her warden.

_“You think it’s over, Suzaku?”_ Lulu silently mocked.

Oh how wrong Suzaku was to think that it was over. Soon, Lulu would return to where she really belonged and she would make sure he and all those who kept her here would suffer for all they had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!! I have to admit that I am getting the sequel out way faster than the original, but I am dedicated to this story. I’m going to address some questions that were asked from me, so here we go:  
> To LokasennaHiddleston (I know this came the during Broken, but I'll answer it here just in case anyone else was wondering) from what I remember of the anime Cornelia is currently presumed dead/missing. I don’t want to give too much away if you or others haven’t seen all of the anime considering I don’t know what you all know.  
> Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter and keep on commenting!! I love answering questions and putting out stories that keep you all on your toes!! If you ever want to talk, ask more questions, or make requests PM me!!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four has arrived and I hope that I can curb the suspense of making you wait awhile for this chapter.  
> Without further delays here is Chapter Four!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

The door was thrown open and Rolo tore into the room. Lulu only continued to cry as she looked at the young boy she had been swayed into believing was her flesh and blood. He rushed forward and knelt beside them. Suzaku didn’t let her go and Lulu didn’t pull away because she didn’t want to go to the impostor if she didn’t have to.

“Big sister!” Rolo exclaimed. “Please tell me you’re okay? Suzaku what happened?” His voice rising to a higher pitch as he spoke and Lulu wanted to strangle him.

“There was an attack, obviously,” Suzaku snapped. “The intruder got away and so did her accomplice, but Lulu seems fine.”

“They got a way!” Rolo seethed. “How could you let them get away when…”

“Rolo!” Suzaku roared. “Your sister is in obvious distress. Don’t you think it is she you should be focusing on at the moment?” Rolo quickly quieted. Suzaku let out a long sigh and pulled away. “Lulu, we need to get you out of here and cleaned up. You’re covered in blood.”

“I wouldn’t be covered in blood if you hadn’t shot her,” Lulu pointed out.

“She was a threat, Lulu. She was putting you and our child in danger,” Suzaku reminded. Lulu just nodded because she knew if she spoke anymore on the matter now she would say something to give away her new knowledge. Suzaku smiled at her before he helped her rise to her feet. Lulu took a deep breath and straightened up.

“Rolo, take her to our new rooms and get her cleaned up. I have to stay and give my report to the higher ups. I will be with you both shortly.”

Rolo nodded and came to stand by Lulu’s side. It took every cell in her body for her not to flinch when the boy touched her, but she managed. Lulu was sure she could have gotten away with the action since she had just been attacked, but Lulu wasn’t willing to risk it. She needed to buy her time until C.C. appeared again.

“Wait,” Suzaku called. He removed his cape and came to wrap it around Lulu’s form. “A princess should not be seen in this state. At least this way you can avoid the more obvious stares.”

Lulu nodded at Suzaku’s words. She really didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself if she didn’t have too. She already had to find a way to get rid of Rolo. Suzaku leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead which Lulu allowed because she knew that pulling away would arouse suspicion.

“I’ll see you soon?” Lulu asked keeping her voice soft.

Suzaku nodded. “I will return to you as soon as I’m done. I have already had Rhiannon delivered to our rooms. I’m sure she is hungry and driving the poor nurse crazy.”

Lulu just gave a small smile and nodded. Rolo led her out of the room and passed Gino and several other guards. Some of the palace sentries were holding two male nurses down to the ground while they secured their arms behind them. Lulu recognized them as being a part of the Black Knights, but no one of significant importance. Lulu walked on without another backward glance while Rolo kept a hold of her arm.

After a few minutes they arrived at the new rooms her father had given the happy Kururugi family. The nurse was there rocking Rhiannon and trying to calm her. Lulu held back a laugh at the struggle the woman seemed to be having.

“I’ll take it from here,” Lulu announced moving forward. Rolo looked at her confused for a moment, but said nothing.

Once she was standing before the nurse she reached out for the child. Suzaku’s cape fell from her shoulders and revealed her bloody hospital gown. The woman’s eyes widened in shock and she pulled away from Lulu as if she had been infected by some devastating disease.

“Your Highness, you are covered in blood!” the nurse screeched. “I suggest you bathe first before tending to the child.”

Lulu narrowed her eyes at the woman. “Is not a mother’s first priority her child?”

“Yes, of course, but…”

“I will bathe once I feed the child. Rhiannon should be ready to sleep by then and I will have amble time to clean myself up.”

“Big sister, why don’t we get you changed first? That gown is covered in blood and your face…”

“Is also covered in blood,” Lulu snapped. “I understand that I look quite unsightly, Rolo, but the child comes first.”

In all actuality, Lulu didn’t care for the child at all. All she cared about was convincing these fools that she was still under their control so that she could live long enough to escape. She knew that if she didn’t care for the child first or show interest in caring for the child her cover would be blown. But, when Lulu met Rolo’s wounded gaze she realized that she had barked at him. That wasn’t something she would normally do and if it had been Nunnally she had been speaking to she wouldn’t have.

“I’m sorry, Rolo. Today hasn’t exactly gone as intended and I’m feeling a little on edge. It’s not every day one gets attacked.”

Rolo shook his head, “It’s understandable. Just let me get you a warm washcloth for your face and a robe. Then you can feed Rhiannon and lay her down for a nap. I’ll even get a hot bath ready for you.”

Lulu just nodded and allowed the charlatan do as he wished. She focused her gaze on the child in the nurse’s arms. The memory of how she had become pregnant with Rhiannon had yet to surface in Lulu’s mind, but something told her it was the turning point for her and Suzaku. Lulu had to admit that the child was indeed perfect and exactly how she pictured a child with Suzaku would look like. However, Lulu could only look upon the child with revulsion. C.C. had been right when she said Lulu would only consider the child with loathing. But why?

She knew part of it was because Rhiannon represented the new life she had been forced to have while her old life slipped through her fingers. Her memories of who she had become had been taken from her and new ones had been put in their place. Lulu knew whose fault it was that all of this had happened in the first place...Suzaku Kururugi.

Damn Suzaku and his need to fix things that were never broken. Sure, they had drifted apart, but they had still been good together. They could still be good together, but Lulu wasn’t willing to stay and be his doll for his own amusement or satisfaction. She would escape from Suzaku’s prison and then make him pay for betraying her again.

“Big sister?” Rolo called. Lulu broke from her thoughts and looked into the eyes of her sister’s replacement. The eyes that had been so soft and concerned earlier where hard and calculating. If that didn’t solidify that this boy was an informant Lulu didn’t know what did.

“Yes?”

Rolo held out a washcloth. Lulu smiled as gently as she could at him before trying to take the damp cloth. Rolo pulled it away and Lulu raised an eyebrow. What was this kid playing at?

“I’ll do it,” Rolo stated. “You might miss some of it and…”

“Are you sure, Rolo?”

Lulu was curious as to why this boy suddenly wanted to wipe her face. Sure, Lulu was positive her face was splattered with C.C.’s blood not because everyone said she was, but because she could feel it’s warmth cooling on her face. Some of the blood was already hard and making sections of her flesh itchy. Lulu was sure she could clean her face off without any assistance, so why was he so eager?

“I don’t want you to overexert yourself, sister. You’ve just had a baby and been attacked in less than a week,” Rolo stated. Lulu noticed the small blush on the boy’s cheeks, but said nothing. She did, however, save that information for later. “I’m amazed that you haven’t completely lost it since we got here.”

Lulu’s eyes twitched at the last sentence. Lulu couldn’t believe she had been so reduced to a simpering fool during her time under their control that even Rolo expected her to roll over and admit defeat. She remembered how she, in her new life, had been a key strategist in battle situations. So why did this fool think that she would be crying now?

“I’m trying not to think too much about it,” she supplied. Lulu decided to play it up a bit more since she, the weak version of her, would have done something dramatic. “It has been awhile since I have been attacked so directly, Rolo. I don’t want to think about how they infiltrated us so easily or about the fact that I couldn’t protect myself or my daughter from that woman.”

Rolo’s eyes softened as he nodded in understanding. He came forward and started gently scrubbing Lulu’s face. Lulu flinched a little at the contact, but said nothing about it. Lulu realized that fooling this boy would be a lot easier than fooling Suzaku.

Once Rolo was finished he helped her put on a robe and Lulu once again went to the nurse and raised a delicate eyebrow. The nurse didn’t challenge her this time and handed Rhiannon over before bowing and leaving the room. Lulu sat down in the rocking chair and Rolo handed her a small blanket to hide Rhiannon and Lulu’s breast from view.

Lulu rocked the chair as she got her daughter situated and calm enough to begin eating, Rhiannon quieted once her mouth was full and the silence stretched between Lulu and Rolo for a long time. He just watched her as she kept her gaze on the child and rocking the chair back and forth. By the time Suzaku returned to the room Rhiannon was half asleep and lightly sucking at Lulu’s breast.

Lulu pulled her away gently and resituated herself before taking a burp cloth from Rolo and trying to burp Rhiannon before she fell completely asleep. Rhiannon let out a couple of small burbs and some spit up in the process, but by the time Lulu reached the crib Rhiannon was passed out on her shoulder.

Lulu laid her down gently and returned to the other room leaving the door slightly ajar so that she could hear when Rhiannon awoke. Suzaku had changed out of his uniform and into gray sweatpants and a white v-neck t-shirt. Rolo had left them for his own chambers and now Lulu was alone with her husband.

Lulu didn’t like it one bit.

“Rolo drew you a bath,” Suzaku stated. “I’ll find you some comfortable clothes to wear while you get clean.”

Lulu just nodded because she wasn’t sure she could speak to him anymore than necessary. She just wanted to be alone and think about everything, but there always seemed to be someone with her…watching her. It made Lulu’s skin crawl and angered her more than she would care to admit out loud. However, she would play the part she needed to till her escape.

“Are you okay, Lulu?”

Lulu met his eyes and found them much like Rolo’s earlier; hard and analyzing. His mouth was set in a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and his brows were furrowed as if waiting to see if she would slip up.

Lulu hated that look because it never belonged on Suzaku’s face in the first place. That look was reserved for herself and how she viewed the world with the mind of a tactician. Suzaku never analyzed a situation in its entirety. He was prone to jumping in head first and hoping for the best possible outcome. Suzaku, it seemed to her, always seemed to have on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

“I’m fine, Suzaku,” she replied coolly.

She walked past him and made her way to the bathroom when Suzaku caught her arm. Lulu stopped, but didn’t look at him. What had she done wrong now? She had thought it would be easy to pretend, but it seemed that some of her past tendencies were slipping out. Lulu would have to be careful in the near future.

“Talk to me, Lulu,” Suzaku ordered.

“What is there to talk about, Suzaku? I was attacked…targeted…by an apparent Zero sympathizer,” Lulu hissed. Suzaku’s grip tightened just a little on her arm as if he was waiting for her to say something to give away C.C.’s success. “I was defenseless against her and could have died. Our newborn could have died. What more do you want me to say?”

“Tell me what she said to you, Lulu? I need to know what she told you.”

There was no way Lulu was going to tell him what C.C. had expressed to her. She wasn’t going to dig her own grave before she even had the chance to get out of this prison. If he thought she was stupid enough to give herself away that just went to show how much she had confided in him during her time oblivious to the true goings-on. If Lulu had the freedom to laugh at his plea she would have.

Then an idea struck her. It was a crazy and a ridiculously reckless idea But…what if telling him was the answer? Sure, it sounded insane even to her in the grand scheme of things because that would be almost like she was admitting she remembered, but what if…what if she told him?

He would panic, of course, but there was no way for him to know if she was playing him. If she had always told him everything this would just solidify that she was still _his_ Lulu. If she hid the information from him knowing that he knew what C.C. possibly said, he would be suspicious of her. Suzaku would know she was laying low until the opportune moment.

There was the possibility that Suzaku would increase security and surveillance around her, but she knew him well enough to know he would do that regardless of what she said. He would do anything to protect the life he had now with her and their daughter. So maybe, instead of lying to him she should tell him the truth, or a half-truth at least, and see where it led. Maybe, just maybe, she could convince him she was still his perfect little doll.

Suzaku was about to get the show of a lifetime. It only took a moment for Lulu to bring forth real tears. All she had to do was think about Nunnally and how much she missed her. A small sob broke past her lips and Lulu had to reign herself back into the current moment.

Lulu turned only her head so she could look at Suzaku. She watched as the genuine worry and pain crossed his face. It was a small triumph for Lulu to have done something to cause him distress. He did deserve it after all.

“Suzaku…” Lulu cried. She let out a small whimper as Suzaku pulled her towards him and wrapped her in a hug. Lulu didn’t return the embrace, however.

“Lulu, what did she say?” Suzaku tried again.

Lulu could feel the tension in his body. He was afraid of what her answer would be. He was terrified that her next words were going to cause him to lose her. Lulu almost smiled.

“I…I can…can’t…why would she…I…I don’t…don’t understand…”

“Lulu, tell me,” Suzaku pressed.

Lulu was irritating him with her response. His voice was low and his grip on her had tightened again. Lulu just pressed herself against him tighter before she felt his hand on her face. He tilted her face up and she met his narrowed tired eyes.

“I won’t ask again, Lulu. What did that woman say to you?”

Lulu took that moment to widen her eyes and look at him in absolute horror. “Zero…Zero…she said…she said I was…but…but I can’t be…there isn’t any…any truth to her…her…”

Suzaku’s eyes widened almost comically in fear while his whole body went rigid and his usually tan face went white in dread. Lulu let her mouth go slack as she pretended to take his silence for confirmation. She tried to pull away from him, but he pulled her back and tucked her head under his chin.

“Suzaku…you…she isn’t right. I’m not Zero…” Lulu denied. “I can’t be…You can’t honestly believe…It’s not possible….”

“No, no of course not, Lulu!”

“Then why do you look so… so terrified?” Lulu questioned. She pushed herself away and out of his embrace as she tried to halt her stammering and sobbing to look at him fully. If only so she could truly appreciate the petrified look on his face. Lulu made a mental note to tell him he had a horrible poker face.

Lulu could almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to come up with some excuse to explain his fear. Lulu couldn’t wait to hear his explanation. She couldn’t wait to see what story he would spin in a vain attempt to keep her from figuring out that she actually _was_ Zero. At the very least, it would prove a valuable source of entertainment on her part and agony on his.

“Well?”

Suzaku took a deep breath and ran a hand though his hair, a sure sign that he was nervous, but Lulu didn’t let on that she knew he was about to lie to her. He met her gaze for a moment before looking away towards Rhiannon’s room. Lulu raised a delicate eyebrow as she waited patiently for his horribly contrived response.

“Lulu, you and I both know that Zero is dead. We watched the execution together,” Suzaku began. “Maybe…maybe this is the Black Rebellion’s way of trying to find a new Zero. You are the best tactical mind we have…so it’s only right to assume that they would want you to take that bastard’s place.”

Lulu’s eyes widened at his response. She was mildly impressed that he had actually come up with a half-decent lie, however, she didn’t let it show. Suzaku may not have had the best poker face in the world, but his lies had definitely gotten better over the last year.

“Lulu?”

Lulu’s eyes refocused on Suzaku and found that he was holding his arms open for her. Lulu just sighed and moved into his arms. His arms wrapped around her tightly again and Lulu wrapped her own around him gently. She rested her cheek against his shoulder while his chin rested on her head. She felt as one hand wrapped tightly around her waist and the other began soothing up and down her spine.

The embrace was meant to be comforting, but all Lulu felt was disgust. She shivered in his arms and prayed that he took it as one of arousal or contentment because there was no way Lulu was in any way ready to have sexual intercourse with this man. Suzaku placed a kiss on the top of her head before pulling away to look down at her.

“I almost lost you today, Lulu,” Suzaku stated. Lulu watched as the emotions of regret, sadness, anger, and relief flashed across his watery eyes.

Lulu mentally rolled her eyes at his emotional display. He had always been the more emotional one out of the two of them. She had, initially, anticipated this type of reaction from him. Lulu knew she was going to have to comfort him in some way regardless of how much she wanted to be alone or wanted to clean herself of C.C.’s blood.

Lulu raised a hand to cup his cheeks and wiped the tears as they fell from his tired eyes. She shushed him and gently pulled his head down so that their forehead’s would meet. His shuddering breaths wafted across Lulu’s face and she shivered again.

“You saved me, Suzaku. You protected me and Rhiannon,” Lulu cooed. She watched as her words caused him to shiver. Lulu let a small smile grace her face as the next four words left her lips. “I love you, Suzaku.”

His reaction was immediate and Lulu took a deep breath right before his lips claimed hers.

He pulled her closer as he pressed against her lips just a bit harder. Lulu let out the expected moan at the action and wrapped her arms around his neck. She noticed that his lips were dry as they pressed against hers and she couldn’t help but flick her tongue out to run along his bottom lip. He moaned in response and Lulu almost smiled against his mouth, but refrained.

She opened her mouth in a silent invitation which Suzaku took advantage of as his tongue plunged into her willing opening. He massaged the roof of her mouth and her tongue with his own and Lulu couldn’t help the moan that escaped her that time. She let him explore the cavern to his heart’s content. It was her way of showing him that she was right there in his arms. It showed that she was still obedient to his whims and oblivious to the truth that had been revealed to her…

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!   
> Sorry lovelies, but this seemed like the perfect place to stop. This chapter was a little longer than normal so I hope that I will tide you over till the next chapter.   
> Now feels like the right time to put in a Suzaku POV so that we can all see what poor Suzaku is thinking after the attack on his family.  
> Also, I do plan on bringing back the toddler-sized knightmare frame so keep a look out for it. I also thought it would be something Lloyd was prone to do so I just had to add it in. lol  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Chapter Five is done! This chapter was a little harder to do since I had to get into Suzaku’s head a bit before I could actually write this chapter. Lol!  
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

Suzaku walked silently back to his new apartments. He had a lot to worry about at the moment. Due to C.C.’s break-in his life of contentment was doomed to go up in smoke depending on what the green-haired woman had told his wife. If what that damned woman said or did was enough to break the Emperor’s Geass, no one knew. The Emperor was prepared to lock Lulu away regardless of the fact that she had just given birth. Charles was not willing to let Zero back into the world when he had her so perfectly contained and under his control.

The Emperor’s words kept echoing over and over in his mind. The discussion had broken his heart and if he hadn’t had enough control he probably would have cried at the older man’s feet. Suzaku would have begged for the two of them to come up with a different solution even though he knew that the Emperor would never agree.

The Emperor’s words came to the forefront of his mind as he stopped in front of the oak door that stood between him and Lulu. _“It is now your duty, Knight Kururugi, to discern how much my daughter knows about who she really is. If she has regained her memories then action must be taken. I will not have her defy me again or come after me in my own palace.”_

Suzaku took a deep breath and opened the door quietly. He was met with the site of his wife sitting in the new rocking chair dressed in a robe and holding Rhiannon in her arms. Suzaku let a sad smile spread across his face at the picture presented to him as his beautiful Lulu looked down at their child with a peaceful expression.

Lulu fiddled for a moment with her robe and possibly the hospital gown beneath it before she removed the blanket covering his daughter from view. Suzaku saw that Rhiannon was almost asleep. After all the excitement she and her mother had gone through today he wasn’t really surprised. He was startled that Lulu wasn’t as shaky as he had expected however. She seemed way too calm for someone who had been attacked by a terrorist.

Suzaku knew that Lulu was strong emotionally and contained her emotions when need be; so it was possible that she was holding back from showing her true feelings until Rhiannon was put to bed. However, there was also the possibility that she had her memories back and wasn’t affected at all by the attack.

Suzaku returned his attention to his wife and child. He watched as Lulu took a burp cloth from Rolo and rested Rhiannon’s head on her shoulder as she lightly patted her back while walking towards the baby’s bedroom. He heard a small couple of burps come from his daughter before Lulu disappeared from view.

Rolo turned to look at him and shook his head. Suzaku nodded in response and allowed Rolo to leave for the bathroom. Rolo had acknowledged that he hadn’t seen any change in Lulu yet which was good, but that really didn’t mean anything. Rolo didn’t know Lulu like he did and there was a possibility that he would be the only one capable of detecting if she was again Zero.

Suzaku heard the water run from the bathroom and knew he had a little time before Lulu came back into the room to greet him without Rhiannon. He wanted to be comfortable and, he supposed, non-threatening when he talked to her about the attack. She would open up more if she didn’t feel like he was speaking to her as a Knight of Round, but as her husband. He quickly removed his Knight of Round garments, which was a lot harder than he had first originally thought, and put on gray sweatpants and a white v-neck t-shirt.

When Rolo came out of the bathroom he bowed to Suzaku before leaving. Suzaku stood there waiting for Lulu to come out and he didn’t have to wait long. Lulu shut the door quietly, but left it open a crack so that she could hear the Rhiannon when she woke.

Lulu turned to face him and their eyes met. Suzaku couldn’t read the emotion in her eyes and that worried him. Over the last year, no matter the situation, he had always been able to read her and understand what she was thinking. She wore more of her emotions on her face after her father’s Geass than she did when they were dating at Ashford during the time she was Zero. He wasn’t sure what to make of it just yet, but he hoped it was because of what had happened today that she was closing herself off from him.

“Rolo drew you a bath,” he stated. “I’ll find you some comfortable clothes to wear while you get clean.”

He watched her nod, but her face was still deceptively blank. He knew that there was more going on behind Lulu’s eyes, but she wasn’t showing any of it. She looked too tense for someone who should have ran to him once they were alone. Lulu had always thrown herself into his arms when she was feeling distressed once they were alone and her royal mask was allowed to fade.

Honestly, that was what Suzaku had hoped would happen because then he would have known for sure that Lulu hadn’t regained her memories, but this…this wasn’t a good sign. She looked almost…disgusted with him and that could only mean she had regained her memories.

Right?

“Are you okay, Lulu?”

Suzaku gave her a tight smile as she met his eyes, but he knew it was forced and so would Lulu. She had always been better at seeing past his façade more often than not and he had never really been able to read her until the beginning of last year. Lulu had a lot more practice than he did, so in order to know the full extent of C.C.’s influence he would have to try a lot harder. Lulu had always said that he was too much of an optimist for this world.

“I’m fine, Suzaku,” she replied. Her voice was flat and Suzaku felt as if she had punched him, but he couldn’t let her walk away just yet.

She started to make her way passed him, but he caught her arm forcing her to stop. Lulu didn’t look at him, however. If he didn’t know her any better, he wouldn’t have noticed the tension in her shoulders and the slight shaking that even he didn’t think Lulu noticed.

“Talk to me, Lulu,” he ordered.

“What is there to talk about, Suzaku? I was attacked…targeted…by an apparent Zero sympathizer,” she hissed. Suzaku tightened his grip on her arm at Zero’s name. He was terrified that the name alone would trigger Lulu’s memories. “I was defenseless against her and could have died. Our newborn could have died. What more do you want me to say?”

“Tell me what she said to you, Lulu?” Suzaku encouraged. “I need to know what she told you.”

He _needed_ to know so that he could find a way to protect her. If she remembered, he would have to give her up and he couldn’t do that. Suzaku didn’t want to live without Lulu and Rhiannon would need her mother. Suzaku couldn’t bear the thought of his daughter growing up without Lulu. He didn’t want to have to explain to her every night why her own mother couldn’t tuck her in at night or bake her a birthday cake.

Suzaku knew that deep down he was being selfish…again. A year ago he had taken away everything Lulu knew and loved in order to keep her. He had replaced everything and lied to her in a desperate attempt to keep her from death. He knew it was selfish. He knew, but at the moment he didn’t care. He wanted to protect her this time even more than before.

Although the situation hadn’t been ideal a year ago, they still had a child to take care of. They still had the responsibility to be Rhiannon’s parents regardless if one of them was a Knight of Round dedicated to the empire and the other was a rebel leader.

Yes…he was definitely selfish because he hoped that even if Lulu got her memories back the existence of their daughter would be enough to convince her to stay. He had prayed that once the child was born that Lulu would fall so in love with her that she would continue the charade for all of their sakes. He had wished for Lulu to look at him again with actual love and devotion like she used to instead of the love she _thought_ she felt for him. It was stupid and selfish, but he hoped anyway.

Suzaku came back from his thoughts when he saw Lulu’s head start to turn. Her eyes met his again, but this time they were filled with tears. Suzaku couldn’t help but feel terrible that he had pushed her so hard. She had obviously been trying to deal with everything without worrying him, but he had demanded an answer. He hated to see her cry and it broke his heart to know that he caused it.

“Suzaku…” Lulu cried. A small whimper passed her lips and Suzaku couldn’t help but pull her closer and embrace her. He noticed that Lulu didn’t reciprocate, but he assumed it was because she was too wrapped up in her mind to even notice.

“Lulu, what did she say?” he tried again.

Suzaku knew that he was tense even as he held her. He was holding back the shivers of fear that kept racing down his spine when he thought about how this moment, this embrace, could be the very last one they ever had. He was so afraid of Lulu’s next words.

“I…I can…can’t…why would she…I…I don’t…don’t understand…”

“Lulu, tell me,” he pressed.

Suzaku couldn’t help that his voice had dropped lower in response to her stuttered response or that his grip had tightened on her even more. He couldn’t take any more of the anticipation. He needed to know what C.C. had said so he could gauge how much Lulu remembered. He needed to know so that he could do damage control and convince her that C.C. was just crazy. It shouldn’t have pissed him off as much as it did that Lulu wasn’t answering his questions directly, but he couldn’t help it. _He needed to know._

When Lulu still didn’t answer, but pressed closer to him he felt all his anger drain away. He didn’t want to her hurt her or cause her pain, but this was important. He removed a hand from her back and brought it to her face so that he could tilt it up. His eyes were narrowed, but he hoped she could see the patience in his eyes even if she couldn’t feel it from his tense body.

“I won’t ask you again, Lulu. What did that woman say to you?”

Suzaku watched as her amethyst eyes widened in horror. “Zero…Zero…she said…she said I was…but…but I can’t be…there isn’t any…any truth to her…her…”

Suzaku’s eyes widened in alarm and his whole body seemed to seize up. He could almost feel as his face went white. It was practically impossible to breathe. His chest was constricting so tightly that he thought he would die right there in Lulu’s arms.

He felt Lulu trying to pull away and realized that he hadn’t said anything to disprove C.C.’s words. Lulu thought he was confirming what she had been told. He wouldn’t admit it to her nor would he tell her the truth. Suzaku quickly pulled her back to him and tucked her head under his chin.

“Suzaku…you…she isn’t right. I’m not Zero…” Lulu denied. “I can’t be…You can’t honestly believe…It’s not possible….”

“No, no of course not, Lulu!”

“Then why do you look so… so terrified?” Lulu questioned.

Lulu pushed herself away from him and out of his embrace. Suzaku could see she was trying to calm her stammering and sobbing to look at him fully. He tried to pull himself together and put on a calm front, but he knew he was failing. He was absolutely lost for words.

What could he tell her? What would she believe? Suzaku had no idea. There had never been a plan for such a situation and he cursed himself for not thinking of one sooner. Why hadn’t he asked the Emperor for a solution when he saw him a mere hour ago?

God, he was an idiot. A selfish idiot, he reminded himself. Lulu was always the one who was better at coming up with lies and backstories. He had never been able to find a fault in her logic or excuses during her reign as the leader of the Black Knights. He had known that she held a deep hatred for her father and that she had once proclaimed that she would end all the madness, but he had never expected her to be able to lie to him about killing people.

Suzaku could feel a headache forming as he thought of something that would even be remotely plausible. It was easier to lie when there was some truth in it, but he couldn’t think of anything. How could he tell her that she _wasn’t_ Zero when she actually _was_? How could he convince her that Zero was _dead_ and not standing _right in front of him_?

“Well?” Lulu pressed.

Suzaku decided to take a deep breath and then ran a hand through his hair. He knew it was a nervous tick and Lulu would surely know it as well, regardless if she had regained her memory or not. Suzaku looked into her eyes again before he moved on to look at the door that lead to his daughter’s room. His mind cleared then and he finally answered knowing that Lulu would soon get impatient and storm off like she always did when he was being extremely difficult.

“Lulu, you and I both know that Zero is dead. We watched the execution together,” Suzaku started. “Maybe…maybe this the Black Rebellion’s way of trying to find a new Zero. You are the best tactical mind we have…so it’s only right to assume that they would want you to take that bastard’s place.”

Lulu’s eyes widened at his response. Suzaku just hoped that she bought the lie. Lulu was definitely the best tactical mind the empire had so it wouldn’t be too far-fetched that the opposition would want her. Hell, anyone would believe Lulu to be the actual Zero due to her tactical maneuvers and such. The only people who knew Lulu really was Zero were C.C., Kallen, the Emperor, and himself. C.C. and Kallen would be able to convince the Black Knights that Zero and Lulu were one in the same.

“Lulu?” he called. She didn’t seem to hear him so he tried again. “Lulu?”

As her eyes focused on him again Suzaku opened his arms to her. He wanted to hold her close to his heart and remind himself that she wasn’t going anywhere. He heard her sigh whether it be in relief or exasperation, Suzaku didn’t know, but she moved forward and into his embrace.

He pulled her close and held her tightly. Lulu held him back gently and rested her cheek against his shoulder. Suzaku rested his chin on the top of her head and ran one hand soothing up and down her spine in what he hoped was a soothing motion while the other he kept tightly around her waist.

Lulu shivered in his hold and Suzaku hoped it was just because she felt comfort in his arms. He wanted to shield her from the world and protect what they had achieved in the last year.  Sure, nothing had gone exactly how he had planned, but he had Lulu here and he wasn’t about to give her up. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and pulled away so he could look into her beautiful eyes.

“I almost lost you today, Lulu,” he stated. He felt the tears coming unbidden to his eyes and he realized how much he was really feeling. He regretted that he hadn’t arrived long before the possibility of C.C. restoring Lulu’s memories. He was sad because he could possibly still lose her and angry because C.C. was ruining his happiness. But he also felt relief because it seemed that Lulu truly hadn’t regained her memories yet.

Lulu raised a hand to cup his cheek and slender fingers wiped the tears he had just noticed from his face and tired eyes. She shushed him and pulled his head down so that their forehead’s would touch. It was then that Suzaku realized he might have been having a small panic attack because his body was shaking, his heart was pounding, and he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs. His eyes were closed but he still felt Lulu shiver again, but didn’t say anything.

“You saved me, Suzaku. You protected me and Rhiannon,” she cooed. Suzaku couldn’t stop the chill that ran up his spine because he _almost_ hadn’t saved them. “I love you, Suzaku.”

It took Suzaku less than half a second to process the last four words coming from Lulu’s luscious lips before he claimed them with his own. He pulled her closer and pressed against her lips just a bit harder causing Lulu to moan. She wrapped her thin arms around his neck before she flicked her tongue out to run along his dry bottom lip. Suzaku couldn’t help the moan that came from him and the minute she opened her mouth he plunged inside.

He explored her moist cavern as if it would be the very last time he would ever do so. He massaged the roof of her mouth and her tongue drawing another moan from his beloved. His exploration went on for another minute or so before he drew back to breathe.

They both panted for air. They were still plastered together, but Suzaku couldn’t seem to get enough. He knew that any sort of intercourse was out of the question since Lulu had just had a baby, but he wanted to ravish her. He wanted to remind her that he would always be there to protect and love her.

Lulu regained her mind faster than him. She pulled away and looked up into his eyes again. Suzaku thought he saw a bit of disgust in her violet eyes, but it was gone as quickly as he perceived it. She cupped his cheek again before she spoke.

“I’m sure my bathwater is cold by now, but I need to clean myself up. I’m still covered in that woman’s blood,” Lulu reminded. Suzaku just nodded and released her. “I’ll be out soon.”

He watched his wife walk to the bathroom and close the door behind her. He let out a sigh of his own as he heard the water drain. The water had definitely gotten cold while they had spoken otherwise she would have just gotten in, but Suzaku knew that Lulu preferred her water scalding. He stood there for a full four minutes before he heard the shower turn on. Once he was certain she was in the shower he made his way to his daughter’s room.

He opened the door just a little wider and peeked inside. He smiled when he saw his daughter still passed out in her crib. She looked so peaceful and innocent. He would claim for the rest of his life that Lulu and Rhiannon were the only two people in the world he would die for.

Lulu had been right a year ago. He had been willing to dive into battle without any regards for his own safety, but now he had something to live for. He had a family of his own and he would never betray them like his own father had done. He would never sacrifice them to save his own life even if his wife was Zero.

Suzaku didn’t know how long he stood there watching his child sleep, but he knew it was long enough for Lulu to finish her shower. He heard the bathroom door open and he turned to look at her. Her hair was pulled out of her face and she had replaced her hospital gown with her violet silk pajama set. She made her way towards him and Suzaku smiled as she peeked into the bedroom as well. Suzaku wrapped an arm around her waist and she rested her head against his shoulder.

Suzaku knew that he was still going to watch Lulu for any signs of her old behavior. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that she wasn’t just acting until she had a prime opportunity to escape or that she wouldn’t leave him at the first opening to finish her mission if her memories had returned, but he was content…for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that lovelies…is a wrap! The sequel is done for now, but do not despair! I have a third installment coming out, hopefully soon.   
> The title of the third story will be: They Shattered Only to Rise Again.  
> Please comment and let me know what you thought!   
> Kudos are appreciated!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is! First chapter completed! Comment, Subscribe, Bookmark, and Leave Kudos!   
> I love hearing from you all!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex


End file.
